so i was in class watching a movie when Buttfucker Cdfghucvk and i all my feels.. nobody understood my feels but then after class my teacher came up and was like “so, uh, i like your shoelaces” so i ate the shoelaces i ate the fucking
i hate spotify ads because i listen to playlists in the shower a lot and there is nothing more startling than being completely naked and suddenly hearing lebron james say “i’ll tell you what makes me thirsty”
Hamster make breakfast
Hamster drive car
Hamster make tea with frend
Hamster plan dinner party
Hamster have Birfday
Hamster love life
Hamster happy to be live
Hamster love you
one time my parents had an argument because my dad bought a bald cap for $2.70 but he was already bald
lingerie encrusted with $6,000 worth of swarovski crystals and a floor length faux fur coat
OH MY GOD. YOU ALL NEED TO WATCH THIS.
I DIDN’T EVEN SUSPECT THAT OR SEE THAT COMING OH MY FUCKING GOD
You need to see it.
I feel bad, but I figured it out really quickly.
This is the actual cover of an actual book in an actual library and it has changed my life forever
bad people shouldnt be allowed to have clear skin or good hair or nice jaw lines or green eyes
Idk why I laughed but omg
SOMEDAY WHEN I AM A FATHER
say lightly fried fish fillets one more time dad